Horoscopes

Yes I know what you're thinking now 'Oh no this is a load of shit what is this person thinking, bloody horoscopes!!!' But it's just a bit of fun eh!! (By the way I did copy these off a website so you know I didn't do this I mean why bother to lie? It just wastes more time!!)

Aries March 21 - April 20
Property matters look set to come to a head, whether it’s a loose roof tile or a new home. It’s by turns infuriating and exciting… and altogether a great deal of work. But satisfying. Eventually.

Taurus April 21 - May 21
Break the mould. What’s stopping you doing that something different you’re dreaming about? Fear of failure? Money? Lack of time? These are all excuses. You can do this, or a modified version of it at least, right now.

Gemini May 22 - June 21
Romance is centre stage today and you’ll be awesomely happy with your loved ones. Unfortunately, if your day involves emerging from domestic bliss to face the world, your impatience with matters non-Cupid related will show. Count to ten before yelling.

Cancer June 22 - July 23
With the Moon now in your opposite sign of Capricorn, life slows down to a gentle stroll – a welcome relief after the sprinting of the past couple of weeks. Take time to enjoy those around you and indulge in some pampering.

Leo July 24 - August 23
It’s not you, it’s the others. Colleagues are playing dumb (either that, or they really are dumb) and you’ll wear yourself out trying to organise people. Relax. You’re doing your best.

Virgo August 24 - September 23
Confrontation at work requires a cool head and a calm manner. All things you possess, so don’t panic. Remember that you’re in the right. Well, probably. Behave as if you are, in any case.

Libra September 24 - October 23
You’re finding obstacles wherever you look but they’re only in your mind. Take a fresh approach. Instead of looking for reasons why you can’t, look for reasons why you can, should and will.

Scorpio October 24 - November 22
Self-employed Scorpios should reap something useful today – financially, it’s a day ripe with opportunities. If you’re employed, there may be a bonus on offer, or the chance of extra hours. It’s hard work but worth it.

Sagittarius November 23 - December 21
Travel, travel, travel – you’re restless by nature and you’ll want to move on to pastures new. If you can’t travel – it doesn’t have to be anywhere exotic – then at least watch a documentary about foreign climes. Armchair travel is better than none.

Capricorn December 22 - January 20
With the Moon back in your sign, you’re making up for the quietness of the past few days – this is a noisy one. Non-stop chatter and the hustle bustle of a social life are right up your street. Life’s buzzing.

Aquarius January 21 - February 19
A dreamy Thursday – perfect for soaking up the rays on an exotic beach. If that’s not possible, be inventive. At least have a glass of wine in the garden this evening. Make a token gesture towards holiday moments.

Pisces February 20 - March 20
Someone falls heavily for your charm today. Fantastic news if you’re single. If you’re not, you’ve just landed yourself a large headache. Oh well. At least it’s a flattering problem to have.